Where is the leader in my child?
Is there a leader in my child?
Who will bell the cat?
Silence in mouse land stressed the predicament. After what seemed a long time, a small, almost timid "I will" from the little mou, shattered the silence.
For little mou, hell broke lose. Almost every adult in the mouse land literally pounced on little mou, "you are just a child"; "don't be foolish"; "this is adults job"; even a curt "shut up" from the papa mou.
Well almost everybody, except for grandpa mou, he intercepted the din, "Maybe we should listen to little mou, maybe he actually can, in any case none of us want to do it or even know how to do it".
And before the "BUTs" could come in, Grandpa mou continued, "In any case, unless somebody leads us, we'll all be soon dinner to the cat". So lets go ahead with him, cause he is ready to be the leader!
Ready to be a leader!
If only we were to explore this paradigm.
Check, as a parent how do you operate.
A Manager parent- one who typically decides what needs to be done, gives instructions of HOW to do it, follows up till it is done (and get full marks for getting it done :-)
A Leader parent- one who envisions what needs to be done, then empowers the follower, the child(ren), to do it in their own way. One who is okay with failures, accepts failures as learning opportunities and constantly encourages the followers to keep trying.
A Follower parent - one who with the leader (the child) builds a shared vision (thus helping the child to be goal oriented), then simply lets the child lead, thereby bringing to fore, and developing, all the leadership resources that are already there in the child (atleast thats the presumption of a follower parent).
An example: A child comes home after playing and might be hungry.
Manager parent response: "You must be hungry. I have made milk for you (amidst groans from the child). Quickly drink it. I don't want you to play around. Sit here and drink it. etc"(sigh)
Leader parent response: "You must be hungry. Let me know what you will like to have." Also lets the child decide how much and how the child wants to eat. :-)
Follower parent response: "Hey, welcome back, you look good".
Thats all! Yes thats all, for the follower parents waits for the child to order food, if required by the child! Remember this parent is the follower, the slave ;-). In fact the follower parent may further ask, "I want your help in making myself a healthy being, help me chart out what to eat, how much and when to eat - etc. :-)))))))
Check, as a parent how do you operate. What percentage of your time are you in each of these.We leave it you to introspect what effect each of these approaches will have on your child's development. We leave it for you to decide what will bring out the leader in your child.
According to us none of the approach is 'right' - but be aware which one are you using. Also out of your day what percentage of time/ occasions you would like to use a specific approach. Pl experiment with the different paradigms, develop your own formula, as you discover the leader inside your child. Bon Voyage!
Interesting to note, is our observation, that each child is born with leadership qualities - they are full of initiative, motivation, resilience, goal based approach, people skills etc. All we need is to recognize these and reinforce them in children. How you do it - is your choice!
By Aditi & Ratnesh